Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
