Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
