I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
