"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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