So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
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