there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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