You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
