It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
