you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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