i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize
