No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
