I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
