Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
we should paint friendship bongs
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