i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Randomize
