My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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