never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
