She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize