So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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