did you get engaged???
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
