please come you make the beer taste better
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
