ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
