so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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