You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
