Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
We talked him into tasing himself.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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