Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
