I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
