oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
