That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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