What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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