Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
