So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
