Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
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