Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I lost the right to judge tonight
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
