Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
