you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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