all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
