worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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