I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize