whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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