i just wanna soil my oats bro
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
