their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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