Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
i drank out of a bidet.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
