whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
