I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
