She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize