i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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