I didn't shave. On purpose
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
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