I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
