I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
