the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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