There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
