I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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