I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
