wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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