Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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