im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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