I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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