Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
