margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
