Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
