I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
