Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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