k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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