Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize