I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
