wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
zippers are such a cool invention
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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