..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
