mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
