piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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