So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
