Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize